The Path toward Justice

Jennifer Ka



Cambodians were stuck in a nightmare they could not wake up from. I cannot imagine the brutality of the Khmer Rouge period because it was too chaotic. There was no mercy, no compassion, and no rules. The savagery makes me question the goodness of humanity. The act of genocide will always keep us wondering how this happened. We ask these questions to appease our virtuous hearts because we are too afraid of what we are all capable of. `



Tuol Sleng prison was full of horror. Everything was left untouched after the fall of Democratic Kampuchea. I could still see the blood stains on the floors of the innocent victims who were tortured. I saw the torture methods, the narrow rooms, and the pictures of victims. The eyes of the victims stared timelessly back into mine. I saw the suffering and the agony deep within them. They knew that they could do nothing. I began to feel my hate and anger grow. They did not deserve this treatment; the prisoners didn't have a chance. The Khmer Rouge was blinded by their own distrust toward others leading to the unneeded deaths. They really did not care if you were innocent or not. At Cheoung Ek, I roamed around the Killing Fields of the buried souls. Most of the former prisoners were taken here after mutilation or were killed here. It felt empty and silent because there was nothing left. The lives of Cambodians were gone leaving only the clothes they once wore. I saw the desolate skulls that once belonged to a baby, an elder, a woman or a man piled together. My emotions began to overwhelm me as I tried to soak in the truth. I wanted justice for my people.



I went to the Khmer Rouge Tribunal for the long awaited verdict of Duch with hundreds of others including the civil parties, monks, reporters, and other interested viewers. The energy of the courtroom was bleak and apathetic. There seemed to be no remorse for the victims, it wasn't enough. After the controversial verdict was read, people scattered around expressing all kind of emotions. Some cried, some were angry, some wanted to get a great story out of it, and some did not really care at all. Me, myself didn't really know what to feel. I just stared at this wild scene of humans hovering over each other to catch the reactions. The tribunal's significance began to fade away because the whole process seemed like a spectacle instead of a path toward justice. I was then confused and disappointed by the unsatisfactory result of the tribunal. However, I soon realized that the tribunal itself was not as important as what the tribunal symbolized. Yes, the survivors searched for justice within the court and most of them left disappointed, but the truth is they will never be completely satisfied. Nothing can ever bring back their loved ones.



We all search for a cure to heal our emotional wounds, but the only way is to face the pain itself. The tribunal set the past free allowing the victims to face the truth. It gave them a chance to tell their stories and have a voice. The people of Cambodia must see the tribunal as the foundation for the future. The revival of the country can begin as the basis of her wounds is learning to heal. It is a long process we all must contribute to as a collective community to rebuild what was lost. Cambodia has lost so much already, but she shall no longer be victimized by the Khmer Rouge. This regime has taken too much power from her already to let them do it once again. She knows the younger generations are the future and will bring back justice for her people. Together with the wisdom of the old generation and the strength of the new, we can build a better tomorrow for Cambodia.



I did not want to hate or be angry anymore. The negative energies wanted to take over and take me to complete darkness. It wanted me to remain detached from the world and fall into my own self pity. But I couldn't let it. I know now that we all have a choice in what we do with our emotions. We must believe that our pure hearts will override the fouls of evil. As humans, we are capable of so much which still scares me, but we cannot lose sight of what is needed. We must continue to fight the invisible armies of evil with our weapons of truth and love.



Feeling what is real can be overbearing and cause us to feel weak, but when we choose to make a change, our weakness becomes our strength.

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Jennifer Ka, 21, Volunteer at the Documentation Center of Cambodia. She is a Cambodian-American undergraduate at the University of California, San Diego majoring in Psychology. She has been involved in the Cambodian community for several years and is part of the Cambodian Student Association at her university. For the club’s annual show she wrote, directed, acted, and choreographed the play, “Unspoken Words.” The play is about a mother and a daughter who are unable to connect because the mother hides the pain of her past of the Khmer Rouge Genocide from her daughter.





Independently Searching for the Truth since 1997.
MEMORY & JUSTICE

“...a society cannot know itself if it does not have an accurate memory of its own history.”

Youk Chhang, Director
Documentation Center of Cambodia
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Phnom Penh, Cambodia