DC-CAM OUTREACH: Forgiveness is not a Requirement

Karlia Lykourgou

University of Leeds, United Kingdom

Santa Clara University ( USA ) Summer Programme



If I had any finite expectations on what I would encounter in the course of this internship, they were mostly concerned with the experiences of the victims, what I would hear and how I would respond to it. I read books. However there is little you can do to prepare yourself for the heavy reality of sitting across from someone and having them tell you that a Khmer Rouge Cadre bundled their daughter into a rice sack and threw her into the river right before their eyes.



It is at moments like this you realize that the gap between physical reality and abstract theory is an infinite abyss. Belief systems and moral concepts that have bolstered your existence up until now count for little when confronted by the cold experience of a person for whom those support systems have been challenged and found woefully inadequate.



On trips out to the provinces with the Victim Participation Project of the Documentation Centre of Cambodia (DC-Cam), I have witnessed some interactions with Cambodian communities in Kampong Chhnang and with Cham Muslim communities in Kampot; had conversations with Cambodians kind enough to share their stories, and spent some slack jawed afternoons at the Extraordinary Chambers in the Courts of Cambodia (ECCC) listening to witness testimony. Like the Bett of Cambodian folklore whose mouth is too small to ever eat, the issue of forgiveness hovers in the air after each terrible tale but remains largely unsatisfied.



When DC Cam goes out into the village communities they welcome those who choose to attend and ask them how much they know of the ECCC already. They proceed to inform them on the workings of the court, who is being tried and how they can be involved by filling out complaints or civil party applications. In the course of these meetings, people are encouraged to share their experiences in an atmosphere of openness and mutual understanding. Often participants express the difficulty of retrieving these memories and the cathartic effect of being able to talk about their pasts amongst others who have similarly suffered. There is a tangible feeling of sympathy and support at these meetings and it is wonderful to see. Towards the end of the speakers’ talk, just before willing participants usher their plastic chairs to the privacy of the corners of the room and others slowly wander home, ‘Searching for the Truth’ magazine in hand or carefully wrapped in kramas; the question turns to forgiveness...



Religion

‘The Buddhists say that one should forgive so as not carry bad karma from one life to the next, what do you think?’

‘This isn’t about the Buddhists!’



This was in Kampong Chhnang , everyone laughed when the woman in the black shirt blurted that out in the meeting on Thursday, but she summarized the feeling well. In one way or another, the majority of those spoken to expressed the view that forgiveness is a lot easier in theory than in practice.



Religion often highlights this internal conflict. For example, when asked how their religion is reconciled with their feelings towards the Khmer Rouge, one woman said perhaps Buddha did not realize how we could suffer when he wrote on forgiveness. I found that many of the people we spoke to refer to different tenets of their religious philosophies depending on their inclination to forgive. One person may quote the Qur’an citing forgiveness as virtuous and another such as the old woman at the Cham village in Kampot will refer to another passage saying,’ if you take a life, you owe a life,’ but these people took many lives...’ It is the latter view that appeared predominately shared by others in the Cham communities that I came into contact with.



The ability to forgive is a virtue, like generosity or patience. They are desirable, they should be practiced, but circumstances do not always allow for them. There is no objective standard of forgiveness, it cannot be imposed or judged because it is a deeply personal process. However, the perception of forgiveness belonging to a person who has lived in relative comfort most of their lives, is unavoidably different from another who has suffered horrific crimes against them. It is only the latter who have truly had their beliefs tested and you can see that amongst the Cambodian villagers in Kampot and Kampong Chhnang. Whether Buddhist, Muslim or of no formal religion at all, there seem exceptional fissures in their daily belief systems where their pain and their inability to forgive is stored; and it sits alongside the regular principles of normal life apart from the Khmer Rouge.



At the meetings I attended, participants were typically shy. In Kampot those that did grasp the microphone would often express their happiness that efforts are being made to bring their abusers to justice. They said it could never bring their families back, nor undo the wrongs they have suffered, but to have some of the leaders of Democratic Kampuchea brought to justice is a start. When asked by DC Cam to share their stories, there usually appeared two or three in each meeting who were particularly keen to talk.



One woman sat and stared keenly at every mention of the court proceedings and took the microphone and spoke whenever she had the chance, telling us about the death of her family and how she was the only one to survive. At the next meeting on the same day, another older gentleman remained seated in the corner for most of discussion and then rose and spoke powerfully about being forced to eat pork because they knew it was against his religion, about how he was only kept alive because he worked so hard and how they killed everyone else...



Law and Retribution

It is at times like that, when I’ve sat cross legged on the floor staring up at these people that it has occurred to me that the ability to forgive is often praised and most religious texts expound the virtues of forgiveness, but why should these survivors have to relinquish their anger? The withholding of their forgiveness is their right. Thirty years after the Khmer Rouge era ended, many of the perpetrators are dead and only five defendants are being tried in an internationalized criminal court. The only retribution many of the survivors will ever really have against their abusers is the retention of their anger and their choice not forgive them.



I find it curious how many survivors equate the ECCC tribunal with revenge. Some survivors, who expressed their lack of desire for the trial, did so because they no longer yearn for revenge and others expressed their support directly, because of this desire. In countries with more developed legal systems the law is not necessarily viewed in this way. The law is taken for granted as something that is above and separate from the people’s will. Criminals are punished for their wrong, not for the victim’s desire for retribution, but because society has deemed that it should be so. Viewing the law in this objective and impersonal manner may make forgiveness a little easier because there need not be a thirst for revenge. The wrong is acknowledged and punished automatically leaving the victim the freedom of choice to forgive or not. In a country such as Cambodia where most of the perpetrators have gone unpunished, this choice is not the same. Because they have received no justice from society so far, these people must feel as though their anger is the only form of punishment that the perpetrator will ever receive. Absent that, there is only a series of heinous crimes that have returned no consequences.



The Philosophy of Forgiveness

The concept of forgiveness is a nebulous one in itself and returns more than one definition. Bishop Joseph Butler described it as cessation of a desire for revenge and the relinquishment of the victim’s anger. This view promotes a fairly unilateral perception of forgiveness, which requires no interaction between aggressor and victim, aligning itself with Buddhist values that urge people to let go of their ‘bad karma’. Professor Charles Griswold has rejected this approach arguing that the victim fails to truly come to terms with their feelings, burying them instead.



In Griswold’s view the process of forgiveness requires far more interaction between aggressor and victim. The individual’s forgiveness requires that they see evidence of their injurer’s attempt to understand their victim’s pain and acknowledges how their actions have caused it. Furthermore the injured must see that their injurer takes responsibility for their actions, repudiates them, and will not do the same in the future. The contrition of the offender is effectively key to the victims’ forgiveness.



I find the latter approach over ambitious, effectively precluding the Cambodian survivors from ever forgiving their Khmer Rouge abusers. This suggests that Butler ’s relinquishment of anger idea is probably the only kind of forgiveness that the Cambodians can ever really achieve. Many survivors do not know who the Khmer Rouge cadre are who harmed them directly and the majority of the upper echelons of the regime have disappeared. Even if they had not, every individual harmed by the Khmer Rouge cannot be apologised to and mass apologies are not likely to be the balm that soothes the deep wounds inflicted. ‘It is easy to ask for forgiveness ‘one survivor said, ‘but then the person could do it again’. Clearly the sincerity of the apology is a factor in its acceptance and the victim’s are hesitant to believe. Having said this, the only apology these survivors have ever received has come from Duch, the former head of S-21 who is currently being tried for crimes against humanity and grave breaches of the Geneva Conventions of 1949. He is responsible for the torture and murder of over 10,000 men, women and children, and is the only one out of the current leaders of Democratic Kampuchea to beg forgiveness from his victims. At the meetings I attended, the survivors were often asked for their reactions to this apology and although one woman felt it was nice to have some acknowledgement of wrongdoing from someone, others have rejected Duch’s appeal for the people to ‘at least leave the door open for forgiveness.’



I can understand how such a request for forgiveness must seem almost inappropriate to some of the victims; for once you have forcibly taken everything from someone, it is too late to ask for anything.



The Victim Participation Project asked some individuals what their response to Duch’s apology was and found little support. Piseth from Svay Rieng carries on with his wife’s dream of confronting Duch in Court claiming, ‘I believe people in general, including me, cannot forgive him;’ agreeing with Sophea of Kampong Thom who also said he can never accept Duch’s apology, ‘no matter what.’ When Sophan from Kampong Cham was also asked if she could forgive Duch she responded he must have a ‘very cruel nature... [because]from my experience living through the regime, they would keep alive only those who are cruel,’ so she, ‘cannot forgive him in light of what the victims suffered...’



One survivor raised a thought provoking point, saying Duch’s apology only extends to those who suffered at S21, ‘... what about the rest of us?’



Conclusion

For the rest of Cambodia and those unconvinced by Duch’s apology, it may realistically be too late for forgiveness. Before I came to Cambodia , I may have admonished someone for such a bleak perspective, but ideals are sometimes a luxury that not everyone can afford and these people have lost everything. They did not suffer once thirty years ago, they suffer every day because they cannot put the past behind them. The woman who had four children and now has one, the survivor who lives alone because her husband was killed, the man who is too maimed by torture to work are all examples of this. Evidently time does not heal all wounds.



Forgiveness is a choice. It is a legitimate decision that transgresses the heralded ethics of religion and philosophy to settle on something more powerfully human, such as the decision to gather one’s dignity about oneself and quietly turn away from forgiveness. The survivors are not angry every minute of day; they do not hate every day. But if you ask them, this is what most of them will tell you they feel towards the Khmer Rouge. It has become a fact, something they live with. As they live with the absence of loved ones, and the memories that return at unexpected moments and linger on the walk back from the pagoda, long after the meeting is over.